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AOID

by Ratboys

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credits

released June 9, 2015

Julia Steiner - guitar/singing
Dave Sagan - guitar
Will Lange - bass
Pat Kennedy - drums

Recorded by Seth Engel at The Owlery in Chicago in fall 2k14
Mastered by Matt DeWine at Pieolden

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Track Name: AOID
Oh I couldn't quite narrate my passing fright
Over losing the fight to write

And I listened with hyper-conscious care
So as to once more earn the right to go there

But something held me down
To the mattress that I stood on

Moving on to a land of broken tongues
Where everyone is empty, but also lives to fill each other

And knowing that I belong there,
The time has come to go to Tixis
Track Name: Tixis
Cross through every pasture, give the hills a shot
Wait 'til now is after to judge what you have got
Thankfully I've been retold that it makes total nonsense
To try to know the present

And I just want to go to Tixis

Touch every county, let yourself be land
Open all the inches to help you understand
Never try to justify a listless sense of longing
With any sort of weakness

Just play this song and go to Tixis

Feel right
About the love you
Feel tonight
It's all a part of moving on and growing older
Let's make a pact to hold each other through

Often when it's quiet, my dreams put on a show
Gentle and defiant of where we have to go
So, nodding twice I leave my room and step over the fault line
To fall into a distance

I'm slowly on my way to Tixis

Feel right
About the love you
Feel tonight
It's all a part of moving on and growing older
Let's make a pact to hold each other through
Track Name: MCMXIV
February 3rd was planned
I had to be present to ride on a bus
I walked around Chicago for hours on end
Woke up to someone watching me at Wabash and Grand

Nobody around me spoke a word
The entire afternoon nothing was said
Yet, I could enter into tourists' heads
With great effort I let them know, 'The tower's up there'

I had no idea what to think about you
You have no idea how much I needed you
On this occasion, it was so sad

Making my way back home
Was bizarre, to say the least, because I wasn't alone
Louisville looked like a ruby that once shown
Her mouth, the fluid motion of a smile collapsing

I have no idea what to think about you
You have no idea how much I needed you
On this occasion, it was so sad

All I am is just a Ratboy

The roads continue down
Actually down to the South, as it's known
I didn't see much of Nashville that day
But, a Romanesque cathedral built in MCMXIV
Track Name: Charles Bernstein
Little yellow spots of dirt on my carpet
Won't go away from watching you clean
You are the ruler of my apartment
My sole point of interest, if you know what I mean

I thought you a proud man until I spent some time on you
Now I know that you are not of that breed
You make me want to do things, like laugh 'til I pass out
You make me want to vomit, you make me want to read

And how in the name of He Who Made Creation
Did I breathe a second without you by my side?
I built a fort, and I christened it Fort Stagan
My roommate Sara Mykrantz walked in and was surprised

But, you try to say, 'Never thought you would let me go that way'

I never thought it could be so new
I always had this suspicion that I would get old before I knew
Mom bought grandma a change purse, blue
But, who are we kidding? She can't even go to the store

I always wonder about how my life will turn out
Beth made a comment, true
But, what does it matter? Grandpa can't even read the news

You have talents that I could only dream to possess
Our love is like a lampshade, do you know what that means?
An atlas of the world points my head and body to the Northwest
My roommate Sara Mykrantz walked in and was surprised
Track Name: Folk Song for Jazz
Well, I got a note from an old folk
It was more like a dream, but I remember somebody spoke

I got down on one knee

And, my paternal grandfather said to me,
'You are one lucky son of my son'

I woke up sadder than I'd ever been
Because he didn't say why, and I had never met him

I got down on one knee

All my blood and my skin comforted me
'You are the best,' they screamed in time

I walked downstairs to the chair made of flowers
Upon it, my dog was humbly laying fast asleep

I got down on one knee
And said, 'If you ever feel the need,
I will love you without condition.'

I laid down like an old folk
My blood and my skin settled into the daily swing

I got down on one knee

And then, Jazz came up and spoke softly to me,
'You are lucky, and you know why'
Track Name: Postman Song
Let me ask you a question
What's your secret profession?
Are you a postman delivering letters
Or are you stuck with something better?

Why do you have a frown whenever I see you?
Is it because your dreams never came true?
Well, listen up buddy, yeah I'll tell you a secret
Just deliver the mail, don't you worry about regrets

And he says, how can I do that when there's
So much I gotta change?

And I said, worry 'bout today, nothing's grey
When you look at it with sunglasses on
And I said, take a little pill, get a thrill
But, don't worry it won't last for too long
You'll be a good fellow
If you chill and be mellow
And just deliver the mail

So, how's your postal route going?
Is your new self-improvement really showing?
No dogs have attacked you, you're feeling really good inside
But, you're still feeling the past, I can see it in your eyes

So just worry 'bout today, nothing's grey
When you look at it with sunglasses on
And I said, take a little pill, get a thrill
But, don't worry it won't last for too long
You'll be a good fellow
If you chill and be mellow
And just deliver the mail

You've got some issues I can tell
So open up, let me see how you fell

And man, you are really courageous
To go on every day, keep turning pages
So, memories are good, but don't let them surround you
You've got free reign now, live your life how you want to
But, just promise me

That you'll worry 'bout today, nothing's grey
When you look at it with sunglasses on
And I said, take a little pill get a thrill
But, don't worry it won't last for too long
You'll be a good fellow
If you chill and be mellow
And just deliver the mail
Track Name: Our Mortician's Daughter
Running across the big, big mountain
There is no way to go
And, how many lives have reached their endings
Silently killed by the snowfall of the ghosts

Their bodies are clean, they make their music
From under rock n' roll
And, can we confirm their wayward spirits
Are something more than the souls of what we're told?

Channeling all these age-old questions
Mind knows where it's been
And, how does it always seem to happen
That daylight starts just as nighttime rushes in?

I don't know what to do without you

Look at the clock it's porcelain doll-face
Is actually made of snow
And, father awakes to greet the daylight
His great mortal cause has filled this heart with hope
Track Name: Bugs!
In the land I like, sun shines down like a peach
I love to think of fuzzy hairs of fire swaying so
The shaman I saw yesterday told me simply, 'Go'
So I calmly left her teepee and went home without a noise

The psychics minds are sewing, but the gypsies' hands stay still
The worlds around them change and spin, and rain soaks their clothing
But, one yells out, whispering, 'It's all clearer to me now'
He dances in it, psychics sewing words he's yet to say

The bricks are catty-corner to the grease below them now
And every time I look at them I wonder who laid them
But, they've been here for ages, weather's touched these natural tiles
It's something I must leave behind and re-visit when I die

What I've meant to say this time is bugs are coming now
It's after dark, they're closing in, it was humid out today
And, one decides to try and make an entrance in my ear
Thinks my head is the bee hive and there the bounty will be found

Bugs behaving badly, get 'em to the prison now
I tell you, yes, it is their fault, you should spit 'em from the sky
But, if you have too kind a heart to cause these things to die
Then move on with my admiration trailing from behind

Bugs follow on like constellations frozen in the sky
Track Name: Pivotal Dates
If I had it my way
You would never go on home
Back up the highway

My dreams remember
The angry lines that laced her face
When she saw our embers

Caves clambered in me
Liz languished on about foot-space
On the way to Cinci

I had no idea of what pivotal dates had defined my time

When she saw our embers
I was curled up miles away
Resting for my twenties

I want to watch the daylight
Fall away into the ground
And rest there always

I had no idea of what pivotal dates had defined my time

Why do I remember
Waking up with familiar eagerness
Just to see your chin hairs?

If there's still a glow there
Something like that's in those songs
I'm curious to know where
Track Name: And
And I'm not afraid of the things that you will do
It's just I'm so ashamed of the things that I'll say
And I'm not the one to decry mind's own mildew
It's just I'm to blame for the things it delays

Well okay

And you should fall away from those calling you downward
And just think of a day when you'll be able to explain yourself
And it's just that whenever I'm away, I feel myself so strongly
And how can we all fade when I feel so here to stay?

Well okay

And I'm not afraid of where we have to go